As human beings, our sexuality is a fundamental piece of our healthy life experience. Unfortunately, if sex is all-consuming, or whenever we deprive ourselves of healthy sexual expression, our sexuality acts as a barrier to our enjoyment of life.
The recent public exposure associated with the serial adultery of Tiger Woods and American TV personality Jesse James has brought to the attention of our nation’s consciousness one of the most hidden, compulsive human behaviors: sex addiction.
Dr. Patrick Carnes, an internationally-renowned expert and a pioneer in areas of sexual addiction and recovery, identifies sex addiction as just about any sexually-related, compulsive practice that interferes with one’s life and causes significant tension for family, friends, and in one’s professional environment.
Sex addiction is a progressive intimacy disorder typified by compulsive sexual thoughts and actions and is often compared to being addicted to cocaine because of corresponding neurochemical processes in the brain and the damaging, all-consuming repercussions it produces on the addict’s life.
As with various other addictions, sexually addictive behaviors are usually intensified with time as a way for the addict to create equivalent results, and the detrimental repercussions of these behaviors — for the addict and the ones around them — increase proportionately.
However, contrary to alcohol, drug abuse, gambling, or other sorts of addictive behaviors, having sex is essential for human survival. Although a certain number of individuals are celibate, the majority of healthy and balanced individuals have a good libido. Actually, an absence of libido can indicate a health issue or psychological condition.
Despite the fact that it’s estimated that roughly five percent of the populace are sex addicts, that figure is likely significantly higher as a consequence of the convenience, lower prices, and privacy the Web provides to sexual encounters and activities.
For a lot of sex addicts, addictive sex-related behaviors rarely progress past pornography, masturbation, and the use of telephone or electronic sex services. Still, it’s not necessarily uncommon for sex addicts to get involved in higher-risk and sometimes unlawful behaviors like voyeurism, exhibitionism, and prostitution.
Although our society has witnessed a major rise in the amount of people engaging in unconventional or illicit sexual routines, such as the use of online pornography, escort businesses, and phone sex, more and more of the people involved in these kinds of behaviors, as well as their family members, are getting professional support.
How do you tell if an individual is suffering from sex addiction?
While some of the signs of sexual addiction are not very dissimilar when compared with the symptoms connected with other addictive behaviors, a number of symptoms tend to be more unique.
If you or your partner exhibits any of the following behaviors, you should consider seeking the assistance of a sex addiction counselor:
- Trouble resisting sexual desires
- Avoidance of normal, day-to-day activities because of sexual obsessions
- Constantly thinking about sex
- Repeated involvement in online chat room talk regarding sex
- Problems getting in the “mood” for sex without using pornography
- Promises to quit sexual behaviors only to ignore those pledges
- A history of recurring affairs
- Sexual acts where there’s a good possibility of being found out
- Sexual acts in the face of a perceived chance of being infected with an STD
- A secret sexual life
- A preoccupation with sex-related websites
- Substantial amounts of money spent on on-line sex and prostitutes
Where to find assistance
Often, sex addicts are forced to procure professional assistance by a judge, or after the threat of divorce or another loss becomes imminent. This doesn’t imply sex addicts aren’t aware they require help — they usually do. As with addictive behaviors on the whole, sex addicts are likely to have assured themselves many times that they will quit, but they cannot.
If you feel you or your partner requires assistance, call a reliable friend, relative, member of the clergy, or other medical professional and ask them to help you get professional treatment.
You may also locate addiction professionals by calling local addiction treatment centers, by asking your primary care physician for recommendations, or by surfing the Internet for sex addiction counselors and therapists in your area.
When you’re suffering sex addiction, admitting you need help and looking for professional support won’t likely be easy. Yet, admitting you need assistance does not diminish the many positive attributes of who you are.
In the event you or a loved one is exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms associated with sex addiction, there is hope. You can alleviate sexual compulsivity and sex addiction. You can have a healthy and balanced sex life and delight in true intimacy with your partner.
Professional sex addiction counseling can help you move forward towards recovery and out of the shadow of sex addiction and sexual compulsivity.